HOW I LOST MR. RIGHT

I was sitting at home one afternoon when my friend, Steph, paid me an unexpected visit.

Sitting on my couch, we discussed what has been happening in our lives and more precisely about her recent activities.


The following conversation ensued between us:

STEPH: Babe, there is this guy that has been chyking your friend ooo

ME: surprised, that na normal thing na, what is so special about this one?

STEPH: chuckles like a 3-month-old baby whose cheek is being caressed, nothing sha

ME: I know there is something...Wait a minute!! don't tell me you are beginning to love up

STEPH: looking shy, something like that...

ME: What about Temi?

STEPH : Temi is fine and no, we are not having any issues, she replied even before I popped the question.

Temi is her boyfriend since 14 months ago, though they were friends for about 5 years before they started dating. Temi is the kind of guy best described as every ladies' dream man - handsome, God-loving, hard-working and Caring. Everyone knew about Steph's relationship with Temi, in fact, the man wants to marry her, but she insisted on completing her university education first and the local man had agreed.

I was astonished because it was simply out of her character to double date. Yes, I know it is normal to have a crush on someone else, even while in a relationship. But Steph would not talk about it in such manner and the expression seated on her face was rather different; there was something more.

ME: giving her a "confess now" glance, babe what's up?

STEPH: Ah... it's not what you think o, I can't even think of leaving Temi. I just want to explore. After all "if we are meant to be, we will be."

I was beyond shocked, my mouth opened like a guy who just caught his supposed virgin girlfriend riding cowgirl with another guy.

Her reasoning annoyed me and I couldn't fathom how she could imagine taking such risk, all in the name of "what will be will be". Don't get me wrong, I was not trying to judge her for giving thoughts about cheating on her boyfriend, though it's an improper thing to do; however, my major concern was the reason why she had decided to do it.

I have seen so many promising relationships cap side as a result of this faulty reasoning. A lot of couples wrong their partners and tell themselves that, if they're meant to be together, they would be no matter what happens.

I am not perfect, but as I stared at my friend I figured she has been given a refutable orientation. I knew I could do just one thing "talk sense into her, which might hopefully get her to rethink her decision".

Looking straight in her eyes, I said, "you don't expect to cheat on him, treat him like he's not enough and think he'd stay because you both meant to be, or do you? As much as it will hurt him, he'd walk away when he finds out that you cheated because your actions only prove to him that you are not worth his time and love. He'll go searching for someone more deserving of him.

The fact is that what is meant to be will not be if you do not invest the effort required to make it a reality. The bible says "Heaven helps those who help themselves"; so, if you refuse to put in the work needed, then what you desire will not come to a realization. Don't get me wrong, I am a strong believer in destiny and fate. I believe that for every man there's a purpose. There's a unique mandated to be fulfilled, created by God just for you.

Nonetheless, there has been a misinterpretation of the word destiny. People tend to believe that destiny is going to pick you up and take you to where you're meant to be without the effort; that couldn't be more wrong. Destiny will not decide for you. It just nudges you in a direction, but it is up to you to decide the path you wish to follow. You alone decide what is worth it; what is worth your stress, fight, wait and work.

When a door opens for you, you decide to either walk-in or not; you are not going to be pushed in or pulled in. And when you refuse to put in the work, it simply means you do not think or feel it is worth it. Furthermore, when you act like the great things God has destined for you isn't worth it, it is only right that it be given to someone else more deserving - someone who thinks it is worth the stress, fight, wait and work.

Reaching for Steph's hands, I told her "even the babies in your womb know that Temi truly cares about you. Agreeable, he has flaws - no one is perfect. But then, the last I checked, these imperfections are not what you cannot handle. Your relationship has stood the test of time and Temi is always ready to make appropriate changes."

She gave a knowing look, while I continued,

"We both know that you feel nothing for this new guy. You are just blown away by his physique or some actions he is portraying now that may not last."

Ask yourself, are you ready to join the league of those who have sacrificed their promising relationship in the faulty alter of what will be will be???

Are you ready to risk a husband material for a few weeks of exploration with boyfriend material???


👉   Recount and Rebuild the relationships (family, friends, colleagues etc), you have lost due to negligence.

👉   Resolve to invest the needed effort that will afford you the kind of relationship you desire

👉   Talk to your partner about their believes as regards "what will be will be".

👉   Don't forget to SHARE this POST!!!