ENTITLEMENT MINDSET (Part 4)

  

If you followed this entitlement series from the First Part and observed from the Part Two that you have an entitlement issue, here are 5 steps you can take in order to curb the mentality.

• Be open to reality: There are two realities that a person with an entitlement mindset ought to accept. First that you actually have an issue that needs your attention and second that no one owes you anything. If you want to come out of the web of entitlement,  you have to admit that entitlement sense is an error that needs to be corrected. Reminiscing on the dangers of this mindset and realizing that you possess it will propel you to act on the other steps. Furthermore, you also need to chew and digest the truth that "No one owes you anything and the things you have are mere privileges". This believe is not meant to cause an undeserving feeling, but to make you appreciate whatever you are opportune to have.




• Put yourself in other people's shoes: Entitled mindsets place unreasonable demands on others, giving little or no consideration about how those demands are achieved. Before you throw tantrums on other people, consider how you would have acted if you were in the same position as them. Most times, you will observe that the very people you are blaming acted better than you would have. Hence, you must learn to view situations from the perception of others and understand the reasons behind their actions.

• Use the magic words: "Thank You, I am sorry and Please" are considered as the world's most powerful words. However, these words are always lacking in the lips of a person with an entitlement sense. If you must be better, then you must use these words. Programme your mind to say Thank you when someone helps you, Please when you want to make a request and I am sorry when you are wrong.  This new practice will help tune your mind from entitlement to gratitude.

• Sacrifice for others: Unwillingness to make compromise is one of the major signs of entitlement mentality. These people like to take but never to give.If you have made up your mind to live above entitlement mindset, you must push yourself to give to others, even to the point of making sacrifices. You must follow the rule "Do for others, even as others have done/will do for you". 

•  Let go of past hurts: As mentioned in the first article under this series, one major reason why people build a mindset of entitlement is past hurts. The entitlement sense may serve as a protective mechanism from bullies and hurts, however, it subtly destroys your personality as well. If you had a negative past of neglect, abandonment and bully, there is need to let go. First and foremost, you have to free your mind. This you can do by sharing your story with trusted friends and counselors and also genuinely  forgiving those who hurt you.

As you journey through life, there is no doubt you have met people with entitlement sense. What do you do when you meet them, especially if they are the very ones you love? Do you run away from them? Or do you try to help them become better? 

Below are a few steps to take in order to deal with people with entitlement mindset:

• Discuss their past with them: One major trait possessed by people with entitlement sense is that they enjoy talking about themselves. So, this attitude can be channeled into bettering them. Proper communication will go a long way in helping a person with an unhealthy sense of      entitlement. Ask them in depth questions, especially about their childhood and allow them to  speak - without interrupting them. Talking makes them feel good as well exposes you to vital  details that are needed to help them.

• Don't impose change: It is improper to try to force someone to change - even if it is a positive change. Using emotional blackmail is also a wrong pattern. Also, words of criticism and abuse is not appropriate because those words might make them feel terrible about themselves, thereby making the situation worse. Instead of forcing them to change, give them reasons for change and patiently allow them to decide. As regular as you can, give them ted talks and stories, with special emphasis on the subject of gratitude.

• Try not to fulfill all their expectations: The use of wish statements such as "I'd love to", followed by genuine objections such as "But too much fat is bad for the body" plays a vital role in making an entitled person reason that just because they want something, does not mean it is right or should be done. Choose their betterment over their incessant pleasure. This choice propels you to not do everything they want, but what is right for them. Then 'wish statements' together with 'objections' help to pass the message to them in the right manner.

•  Let them take responsibility for their actions: Taking responsibility is a difficult action for someone with an entitlement sense to take;  they rather cast silly blames, even on inanimate objects. As much as you can, try not to take the blames for the wrong actions of your entitled friend. Also, quit helping them construct excuses to cover up their faults. Even if it will hurt them, let them take responsibility for their mistakes. 

• Treat everyone equally: Another factor that boosts entitlement sense is when you treat people special than others. This is common among many parents.The more you treat a person with entitlement sense equally with others, the more they realize that the world does not revolve around them and no one owes them anything.